A Journal of a Chaotic Urban Pagan's attempt at finding

Peace and Serenity through Meditation

Friday, July 13, 2007

I am beginning to keep a journal that will deal with such topics as meditation, visualization, and pondering.  This is one of the requirements in the Dedicants' program of ADF (Ar nDriaocht Fein), a Druidic path within the NeoPagan umbrella.
I am not much of a meditator. My mind is always going click-click-click in fifty different directions.  The clicking is often or
usually very chaotic and unorganized.  To approach a center within my deepest soul and find some measure of quiet is not
really an easy thing for me.  So this journal may be a journal of complaint.  But I have to start somewhere.  

Last weekend I attended Drum and Splash at Four Quarters Farm.  One of the most enjoyable parts of the weekend,
was attending a Hindu Kurtan (sic?).    Desptie the incorrect spelling, a Kurtan is a chanting of the Names of
various deities in the Hindu pantheon, often accompanied by music.   In the popular culture, the Hare Krishna chants
are an example of this.  I found this experience very meaningful.  I ended up being truly filled with joy, and perhaps
ecstasy.  I don't exactly know where devotional activities like a Kurtan fall in the meditative spectrum.  But
it is something that I connected with.  I found myself saying the names of Krishna and Rama and Shiva throughout
the day.  Perhaps this was one small step forward. Only time will tell.   Stay tuned for more meditative excesses. 

Sunday, September 16, 2007

I haven't written in quite a while in this meditative journal, but I want the reader to know that I have been working on the very real challenge of meditative journeying, contemplation, and practice. Deity is helping me in this process.  In fact, the purpose and intention of Cedar Light Grove's Mabon (fall equinox) High Rite is that the Grove might help its members in their meditative practice.  There are numerous experiences that I've had since my last writing in mid-July.   One practice I've been doing a few times a week is simply sitting in front of my main altar, candles lit, lights dimmed or off,  and listening to silence. Sometimes within that silence, I hear a whisper or see a glimmer of vision. Sometimes I just hear the silence.  But either way, it is a quieting of the soul, and a useful escape from the noise of iPods, television, dvds, and benign chatter.  My moments in front of the altar are temporary  and appreciated sanctuary from the messy, mundane chaos of the outside world. 

For the second year in a row, I've experienced altered perception at Stones Rising.  Both in 2006 and in 2007, a form of Seidr was held within the confines of the drumming circle.  This year, I made a point of not drinking any alcohol so as to enter the circle with complete sobriety.  I wanted any altering of consciousness to be done by Spirit and not by spirits.  The drumming and dancing went on for a period of time.  I entered a psuedo trance mode where I was conscious of what was going on, and yet also with at least one foot in another world.  Then, just like last year, I was falling into a vortex, collapsing into the unknown, with a sense of the All Father sometimes known as Odin catching me.  With that, my memory temporarily stops.  I awake in the Stone Circle in front of Beth, who has me drawing a rune, which turns out to be ansuz or Odin's rune.  (Last year I drew eiwaz, the shaman's rune).  These are the only two times I've ever experienced what might be called true Shamanic journeying.  Both times, runes and Father Odin were involved.   I don't have any profound revelation or thoughts on these experiences. But I do believe I am in some way linked to Father Odin.  Only time will tell where this will take me. 








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